Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Long long long long long time ago

Long long time ago.. Just after the 2nd ice age.. When the earth was young and people were fools. There was a traveler who besides traveling loved to brag. The traveler for the sake of this story shall be named Mukesh (or what ever you would like to call him). Now Mukesh traveled because he dint want to hunt he was afraid of being called a fool. He had bad aim. All the people in his cave made fun of him. So he decided to travel and lived on hand outs or steal outs or do some naughty favors for me food.

He wasn’t a very good traveler he managed to visit the same village 3 times in a month. He had such bad aim he couldn’t even walk in a straight line. We believe Mukesh is the reason for the creation of the no Mukesh sign which eventually led to the making of our no smoking signs. This is also the first known attempt by man towards language.

Mukesh was confused he didn’t know what was happening. HE decided to do some thing about his bad aim. It struck him he’s being going in a circle clockwise. He decided to aim for the one in the middle and there u have the origin of the "aim for the one in the middle". At the onset of winter like early humans he decided to die or participate in a mass slumber party at Jignesh's cave. It's nearly impossible to go to a winter slumber party with out knowing some one in the govt. He tried to call on his father and mother who were close to the village priest.

Mukesh's parents saw him approaching the cave from a distance. They quickly ran inside blew out the torch. And also hung the "no Mukesh” sign and a new sign which said "quarantine" hence the invention of the word quarantine. Coincidently this was the longest word of that age. Nobody knew what it meant till 1742.
Mukesh approached the boulder of the cave and knocked on it. Then he noticed the signs. He didn’t know what quarantine meant but he was sure it was some thing really bad. And sooner or later people will think up a meaning for it.

Mukesh was drawing a long face. This was also the first known attempt at graffiti. The priest caught him doing this and hence he was also the first person in history to be taken to a jail for vandalism.

At least there will be blankets in jail..

The adventures of Mukesh will continue..

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Trip

Like a lot of relatives every where. My relatives suck a lot. I really wonder how so many awful ,ignorant, ridiculous, political, non creative, pointless people could be related to me. How is it that by a freak chance of nature I have this absolutely varied bunch of people that I hate.

It must have some thing to do with my Grand parents and faulty genes.. I blame them.

When ever there is a family get together it is all family pissing match. Lets see who talks the most.. Lets see who knows the most. I think I share that with my family. That's the only thing I hope. There are moments when I completely zone out ..I much rather have a conversation with my self then with some of the people here. Having a conversation with ones self just goes to show the boredom that you are enduring. In your own rebellious way you are telling all the creation of the universe you don't interest me, I am talking to my self. Or I am on the verge of madness damn you uninteresting people. I was completely alive when I was traveling ,I was out of my comfort zone and talking to random people. Random people are the most fun you dont expect the grand unified theory from them just a simple time pass till end of the road. The road that took me from Jagdish Mandir through the market to the back side of the lake was probably the most interesting road I ever took, it meandered through little known bylanes with old houses and kids who wanted to have their picture taken. The picture of the Tajmahal doesn't do justice to the size of the monument its a huge monolith with millions of tourists trying to gauge the enormous purse of the Mughal emperor. Emperor ShahJahan had a 100 wives yet he chose to build a huge monolith for just one of his wives. The wives of a certain emperor in central India had to take a mass bath in a house made of glass so that the emperor could chose who he wanted to sleep with on that day.

I hate emperors...

i have decided to pin the blame of life on certain people in each entry. Today its the Emperors tomo... the world..

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Sage

Joules opened his eyes for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. In the brief moment before his eyes opened he hoped his beard to grow atleast. Checking his watch he sighed...10 mins.. I cant do this he told him self. These flies these mosquito's this noisy ambulance. How am I ever going to be a Sage. Where will I get my mystic powers from. He unanimously decided to call them sour grapes. There is no such thing as a Sage. There is no greater being. There cant be more to life. Then suddenly in a stroke of genius..He cracked it.

You want food you work for it.

That was the mantra.

He laughed at the sages for spending days and months meditating at a very simple answer. Joules knew he was on to some thing. There was almost a halo around his head. It was like energy flowing into him. This is it.. That's all.. Just a halo.. Enlightenment is over rated. He decided that grapes are sours he relaxed on his Bean bag. Took a sip of the iced tea sitting in front of him.

His mantra just didn't have the ring. Joules picks up the TV guide and looks for some thing to watch.

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