Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Dream come true
If, Mr. Hawkings is right.
Then we could potentially sleep in one place and wake up in another. And no I don’t mean horny little gremlins carrying you away. Worm holes. What if they just transport people from one universe to the other with out their consent. What if the hundreds of thousands of people missing in this world are missing because they were sucked in by a Worm hole? Transporting them to a stranger universe. Another dimension. May be another time. And what ever anyone thinks of becomes a reality in some universe. And what if we jump into that universe? Would it be a dream come true.
I hate getting up in the morning. If only work began at 12. I don’t see the point y work has to begin so early. Not like we depend on sun light for any thing but to growing our crops. Yawn...
Shower...10 mins
Tea... 5 mins
Breakfast...15 mins
Get ready. 10 mins
Finally out of the door. I am sooo late. Strange no news paper today. Hmm...
Why is there no one on the road? No autos. The autowalas sleeping at this time! What the hell is wrong with them? Some one must have f**ked with my watch. But no has been to my house. It’s really unlikely some one breaks into my house and changes the time.
"Hey, what’s the time?” I asked while tapping this guy who was jogging past me.
"10.45 AM", he said. May be he is in on it too. Some elaborate bakra.
There is that jogging uncle. At this time? He’s never late. What the hell is happening?
I can’t be in on this I have to get to work. I will walk. Some one is going to pay for this prank.
Am I going insane? A lot of people are in on this. The traffic light s aren’t working!!
The world decided to wake up late today? That’s crazy. May be I am crazy. I have been under a lot of stress lately. What the hell is this? I have to call some one who’s not really close enough to pull a prank. Boss.....
"Hello”, ME
“Ya tell me", Boss
"Sunil, I am going to be a little late today I can’t find an auto on the road", ME
"Where are you? Don’t u stay 15 20 mins from office", Sunil
"On the road looking for autos", me
"Office starts at 12", Sunil
"Huh!!!!!!!! Since when", ME
"Since always, hello hellooo ..you ok?", Sunil
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Still a long long long time ago.
Our story so far.
Mukesh is an idiot.
Mukesh tried hard to fix his aim. But he couldn't figure it. He was just about able to direct the food into his mouth. You should remember that Mukesh was a real thin kid when he was growing up. For the longest time food was aimed at his ear.
"Gods must be angry with me",he thought.
It turns out that the village God were really pissed off with him. Mukesh made him look bad in front of the other Gods. The average IQ of the village was 5 points below the target. So the head area God deemed it an uncivilized village. And unfit for development. The village stopped getting grants.
The villagers didnt know any thing about this beuracracy of development. But they just hated Mukesh. Every time there is a foreign dignatory from the far away village (10 kms) ,Mukesh was hidden.
They told Mukesh its hide and seek. The primitive game of hide and seek involved the hider to be clobbered by the hidee. This game was a detterent . Nobody spotted him for ages.
Mukesh is an idiot.
Mukesh tried hard to fix his aim. But he couldn't figure it. He was just about able to direct the food into his mouth. You should remember that Mukesh was a real thin kid when he was growing up. For the longest time food was aimed at his ear.
"Gods must be angry with me",he thought.
It turns out that the village God were really pissed off with him. Mukesh made him look bad in front of the other Gods. The average IQ of the village was 5 points below the target. So the head area God deemed it an uncivilized village. And unfit for development. The village stopped getting grants.
The villagers didnt know any thing about this beuracracy of development. But they just hated Mukesh. Every time there is a foreign dignatory from the far away village (10 kms) ,Mukesh was hidden.
They told Mukesh its hide and seek. The primitive game of hide and seek involved the hider to be clobbered by the hidee. This game was a detterent . Nobody spotted him for ages.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Contact
Far away in the advanced part of an advanced galaxy in an advanced solar system on a Highly advanced Planet of Butt juice lived a very advanced race of Flying Monkeys. They had taken care of the regular problems of hunger poverty housing war etc now wanted to spread the message of peace to other parts of the galaxy.
They tried hard.
Every time they landed on a new planet they would be considered hostile. The UFO making industry was flourishing. They managed to get a warm reception from the small planet of Chairs but the Butt juice word for "Hi" translated to chair language meant "I want to hump your cattle" This turned into an all out war. As we all know Cows are highly revered .They had to turn to new and imaginative ways of communication . They thought of sign language. But this was quickly taken as an act of vandalism and huge amount of money and effort was wasted on Crop circle's.
The monkeys really wanted some one hear them out.
In early 1947 on a reckon mission in Roswell USA. The driver of the UFO fell asleep while flying the craft crashing the brand new X500 kl UFO. They dint even get a proper funeral .Several messages demanding the return of the bodies were again dismissed as Crop circle's. Followed by many hovers over the night sky with flashing light (the universal signal for gives us back the bodies of our friends), which was again disputed by top skeptics as a rare phenomenon where the gas from a tar pit near by rose up and reflected the light shining from Neptune.
Frustrated the Flying monkeys finally decided to make the contact with a country other than the USA.
They decided a place randomly. They also managed to make some sort of alteration to their body to blend inn.
The descended upon this mass of people huge number millions of people on the streets. Chanting and singing.
"How did they know we are coming?"
They were jubilant knowing that they are accepted and wanted. Now they parked they UFO far away. They had to get to the front of the rally. Where they were assuming would be a stage with garlands hugs and kisses from hot chicks. And the sharing of the universal message of peace cultural exchanges and all that.
This is so tough getting to the front. Both the Aliens(Flying monkeys)frustrated reached the front of the processions it was the ocean. They were trapped and didn't know how to swim. They tried to get back. The legions of people were coming towards them with some sort of brightly colored object. The poor aliens were terrified.They though this was a sabotage.
We have just learned that the Flying monkeys are pissed off and declared war on every one in frustration.
They tried hard.
Every time they landed on a new planet they would be considered hostile. The UFO making industry was flourishing. They managed to get a warm reception from the small planet of Chairs but the Butt juice word for "Hi" translated to chair language meant "I want to hump your cattle" This turned into an all out war. As we all know Cows are highly revered .They had to turn to new and imaginative ways of communication . They thought of sign language. But this was quickly taken as an act of vandalism and huge amount of money and effort was wasted on Crop circle's.
The monkeys really wanted some one hear them out.
In early 1947 on a reckon mission in Roswell USA. The driver of the UFO fell asleep while flying the craft crashing the brand new X500 kl UFO. They dint even get a proper funeral .Several messages demanding the return of the bodies were again dismissed as Crop circle's. Followed by many hovers over the night sky with flashing light (the universal signal for gives us back the bodies of our friends), which was again disputed by top skeptics as a rare phenomenon where the gas from a tar pit near by rose up and reflected the light shining from Neptune.
Frustrated the Flying monkeys finally decided to make the contact with a country other than the USA.
They decided a place randomly. They also managed to make some sort of alteration to their body to blend inn.
The descended upon this mass of people huge number millions of people on the streets. Chanting and singing.
"How did they know we are coming?"
They were jubilant knowing that they are accepted and wanted. Now they parked they UFO far away. They had to get to the front of the rally. Where they were assuming would be a stage with garlands hugs and kisses from hot chicks. And the sharing of the universal message of peace cultural exchanges and all that.
This is so tough getting to the front. Both the Aliens(Flying monkeys)frustrated reached the front of the processions it was the ocean. They were trapped and didn't know how to swim. They tried to get back. The legions of people were coming towards them with some sort of brightly colored object. The poor aliens were terrified.They though this was a sabotage.
We have just learned that the Flying monkeys are pissed off and declared war on every one in frustration.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Kamikaze
There is electricity in the air. Strangely people were enjoying themselves. It wasn’t voluntary we had no choice. I hate this. I am a doctor, I can’t do this. But this enemy needs to be defeated. Have they gotten to me? Am I still me? I can’t do this? I should just walk out. If they want to kill me they can just shoot me. But they are going to shoot me. I AM NOT A DRONE.
General Kamikaze walks past his legions of solders. The special the elite group. These people who will sacrifice their life for the cause.These people are already martyrs. General Kamikaze was following orders. He dint believe in the war. But dint
have a choice. He would be shot if he said otherwise. War is a strange time for
people. Normal doctors, shopkeepers, sweepers turn into solders and suddenly start killing. He waves farewell to the solders his elite dead solders.
I AM NOT STANDING HERE ANY MORE. They can kill me if they want. Look at him sitting in his car while I go kill my self. I have to do some thing. I am going to take him out. IF I go I am not going alone. I have my sword. I will get him in the chest.
AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AA AAA...(Bang bang bang)
The mission Continues. General Kamikaze survives with just a scratch. The solders of the empire sit in their vehicles to continue on the mission.They sit in yell some thing in Japanese and start their engines. The engines roar.
Thousand s of planes take off. Raining terror on the enemy.
Down below two friends on a bike trying to get to a party. They don’t know they have been singled out. The pillion rider looks up, Sees drops of rain. Coming towards him like little suicide bombers. Mustafa tells Mihir do they look like little kamikaze bombers or is that me.
“Its raining shut up. And you told this to me ages ago.” Mihir
“But it seems like they are trying to get me.” Mustafa
“Save my Phone.” Mihir
“Every time we go to a party, Damn you Kamikaze drops.” Screamed Mustafa
General Kamikaze walks past his legions of solders. The special the elite group. These people who will sacrifice their life for the cause.These people are already martyrs. General Kamikaze was following orders. He dint believe in the war. But dint
have a choice. He would be shot if he said otherwise. War is a strange time for
people. Normal doctors, shopkeepers, sweepers turn into solders and suddenly start killing. He waves farewell to the solders his elite dead solders.
I AM NOT STANDING HERE ANY MORE. They can kill me if they want. Look at him sitting in his car while I go kill my self. I have to do some thing. I am going to take him out. IF I go I am not going alone. I have my sword. I will get him in the chest.
AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AA AAA...(Bang bang bang)
The mission Continues. General Kamikaze survives with just a scratch. The solders of the empire sit in their vehicles to continue on the mission.They sit in yell some thing in Japanese and start their engines. The engines roar.
Thousand s of planes take off. Raining terror on the enemy.
Down below two friends on a bike trying to get to a party. They don’t know they have been singled out. The pillion rider looks up, Sees drops of rain. Coming towards him like little suicide bombers. Mustafa tells Mihir do they look like little kamikaze bombers or is that me.
“Its raining shut up. And you told this to me ages ago.” Mihir
“But it seems like they are trying to get me.” Mustafa
“Save my Phone.” Mihir
“Every time we go to a party, Damn you Kamikaze drops.” Screamed Mustafa
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
