Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Edge of Sanity

Mt Sanity Stood high.

Isolated it stood in the middle of insanity.
It existed between appearing and disappearing
A mystical forest rose on top of this giant.
Giant trees of this ancient forest stood proud.

SunLight seemed to shower
The Rain seemed to glide
The breeze was cold but warm
The lake almost merged with the sky.

"Ohh, Sanity why would I leave you"

The man sat there at the Edge of sanity repeating again and again
"Sanity why would I leave you."
"Sanity why would I leave you."
"Sanity why would I leave you."

Each line was different.
Each line was convinced.
Each line was from a different time.
Each line was almost never said before.

The cigarette hissed as it burned.
Ash flew back up on to Sanity.
The cigarette was flicked far from Sanity.
The man stood up stretched his ams out.

"Sanity you bore me"

And Flew off.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Simplicity Ignored

Its soo easy to be with a bunch of people and be completely alone. The real world is built inside your head, this is more true now then ever. With the advent of Facebook and all the social networking sites. People just found another way of projecting what they would have projected at you anyways when you met them except now its in the form of a status update. Now its easy to project your attitude over 1000 of your friends.

I get caught when i see an update from a friend (so called). I see the update and i feel "Wow" i have an insight into their life.

Its all done with a purpose.

I think to my self he just some how subconsciously updated his Facebook update about how he didn't think a particular Star was so short or how over rated the food at the exclusive Foo Foo restaurant he just at at. A person new to this this is jumps up and replies to the message and likes the status message then when they meet they talk about it. What a guy, such an honest man just expressing his inner self.

Fucking bastard I am on to you.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Dream come true

If, Mr. Hawkings is right.

Then we could potentially sleep in one place and wake up in another. And no I don’t mean horny little gremlins carrying you away. Worm holes. What if they just transport people from one universe to the other with out their consent. What if the hundreds of thousands of people missing in this world are missing because they were sucked in by a Worm hole? Transporting them to a stranger universe. Another dimension. May be another time. And what ever anyone thinks of becomes a reality in some universe. And what if we jump into that universe? Would it be a dream come true.

I hate getting up in the morning. If only work began at 12. I don’t see the point y work has to begin so early. Not like we depend on sun light for any thing but to growing our crops. Yawn...

Shower...10 mins
Tea... 5 mins
Breakfast...15 mins
Get ready. 10 mins

Finally out of the door. I am sooo late. Strange no news paper today. Hmm...
Why is there no one on the road? No autos. The autowalas sleeping at this time! What the hell is wrong with them? Some one must have f**ked with my watch. But no has been to my house. It’s really unlikely some one breaks into my house and changes the time.

"Hey, what’s the time?” I asked while tapping this guy who was jogging past me.
"10.45 AM", he said. May be he is in on it too. Some elaborate bakra.
There is that jogging uncle. At this time? He’s never late. What the hell is happening?

I can’t be in on this I have to get to work. I will walk. Some one is going to pay for this prank.

Am I going insane? A lot of people are in on this. The traffic light s aren’t working!!

The world decided to wake up late today? That’s crazy. May be I am crazy. I have been under a lot of stress lately. What the hell is this? I have to call some one who’s not really close enough to pull a prank. Boss.....

"Hello”, ME
“Ya tell me", Boss
"Sunil, I am going to be a little late today I can’t find an auto on the road", ME
"Where are you? Don’t u stay 15 20 mins from office", Sunil
"On the road looking for autos", me
"Office starts at 12", Sunil
"Huh!!!!!!!! Since when", ME

"Since always, hello hellooo ok?", Sunil

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Still a long long long time ago.

Our story so far.

Mukesh is an idiot.

Mukesh tried hard to fix his aim. But he couldn't figure it. He was just about able to direct the food into his mouth. You should remember that Mukesh was a real thin kid when he was growing up. For the longest time food was aimed at his ear.

"Gods must be angry with me",he thought.

It turns out that the village God were really pissed off with him. Mukesh made him look bad in front of the other Gods. The average IQ of the village was 5 points below the target. So the head area God deemed it an uncivilized village. And unfit for development. The village stopped getting grants.

The villagers didnt know any thing about this beuracracy of development. But they just hated Mukesh. Every time there is a foreign dignatory from the far away village (10 kms) ,Mukesh was hidden.

They told Mukesh its hide and seek. The primitive game of hide and seek involved the hider to be clobbered by the hidee. This game was a detterent . Nobody spotted him for ages.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Far away in the advanced part of an advanced galaxy in an advanced solar system on a Highly advanced Planet of Butt juice lived a very advanced race of Flying Monkeys. They had taken care of the regular problems of hunger poverty housing war etc now wanted to spread the message of peace to other parts of the galaxy.
They tried hard.

Every time they landed on a new planet they would be considered hostile. The UFO making industry was flourishing. They managed to get a warm reception from the small planet of Chairs but the Butt juice word for "Hi" translated to chair language meant "I want to hump your cattle" This turned into an all out war. As we all know Cows are highly revered .They had to turn to new and imaginative ways of communication . They thought of sign language. But this was quickly taken as an act of vandalism and huge amount of money and effort was wasted on Crop circle's.

The monkeys really wanted some one hear them out.

In early 1947 on a reckon mission in Roswell USA. The driver of the UFO fell asleep while flying the craft crashing the brand new X500 kl UFO. They dint even get a proper funeral .Several messages demanding the return of the bodies were again dismissed as Crop circle's. Followed by many hovers over the night sky with flashing light (the universal signal for gives us back the bodies of our friends), which was again disputed by top skeptics as a rare phenomenon where the gas from a tar pit near by rose up and reflected the light shining from Neptune.

Frustrated the Flying monkeys finally decided to make the contact with a country other than the USA.

They decided a place randomly. They also managed to make some sort of alteration to their body to blend inn.

The descended upon this mass of people huge number millions of people on the streets. Chanting and singing.

"How did they know we are coming?"
They were jubilant knowing that they are accepted and wanted. Now they parked they UFO far away. They had to get to the front of the rally. Where they were assuming would be a stage with garlands hugs and kisses from hot chicks. And the sharing of the universal message of peace cultural exchanges and all that.

This is so tough getting to the front. Both the Aliens(Flying monkeys)frustrated reached the front of the processions it was the ocean. They were trapped and didn't know how to swim. They tried to get back. The legions of people were coming towards them with some sort of brightly colored object. The poor aliens were terrified.They though this was a sabotage.

We have just learned that the Flying monkeys are pissed off and declared war on every one in frustration.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


There is electricity in the air. Strangely people were enjoying themselves. It wasn’t voluntary we had no choice. I hate this. I am a doctor, I can’t do this. But this enemy needs to be defeated. Have they gotten to me? Am I still me? I can’t do this? I should just walk out. If they want to kill me they can just shoot me. But they are going to shoot me. I AM NOT A DRONE.

General Kamikaze walks past his legions of solders. The special the elite group. These people who will sacrifice their life for the cause.These people are already martyrs. General Kamikaze was following orders. He dint believe in the war. But dint
have a choice. He would be shot if he said otherwise. War is a strange time for
people. Normal doctors, shopkeepers, sweepers turn into solders and suddenly start killing. He waves farewell to the solders his elite dead solders.

I AM NOT STANDING HERE ANY MORE. They can kill me if they want. Look at him sitting in his car while I go kill my self. I have to do some thing. I am going to take him out. IF I go I am not going alone. I have my sword. I will get him in the chest.

AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AA AAA...(Bang bang bang)

The mission Continues. General Kamikaze survives with just a scratch. The solders of the empire sit in their vehicles to continue on the mission.They sit in yell some thing in Japanese and start their engines. The engines roar.

Thousand s of planes take off. Raining terror on the enemy.

Down below two friends on a bike trying to get to a party. They don’t know they have been singled out. The pillion rider looks up, Sees drops of rain. Coming towards him like little suicide bombers. Mustafa tells Mihir do they look like little kamikaze bombers or is that me.

“Its raining shut up. And you told this to me ages ago.” Mihir

“But it seems like they are trying to get me.” Mustafa

“Save my Phone.” Mihir

“Every time we go to a party, Damn you Kamikaze drops.” Screamed Mustafa

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The chair

The spider makes its move on the unsuspecting next meal. I
ponder!! This looks really exciting on the National Geographic. Why am I not
enjoying it? Just because it’s happening in my surroundings I don’t appreciate
it. Ill bet the people in Namibia hate
the wild life. They probably see the lion eat a buffalo every day. I guess
National geographic isn’t really targeting Africa.

I wonder if national geographic will cover this. And beam it to the Africans
who will in turn think that WOW!! this is so hardcore. All we have are stupid
Lions eating the buffalo. Now Mumbai that’s were all the wild life actually

This is really boring.  Wild life is for the zoo. May be I should take
this spider to the zoo.

Man this is such a boring day.

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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Salgaonkaing Vs Nishant Bagan

"This is turning out to be a close contest for
those of you who just joined in the score is  2-2  two self goals by 
both sides have kept both teams in the game. Lets hope some thing
exciting happens"

Both clubs look equally incapable of scoring a goal.. Salgaokaring and Nishant Bagan( not actual clubs)..

"Oh wait a min FC Salgaonkarings star player Gamu is running through the defence of the

Gamu's trade mark cigarette in one hand. Stopping fr convenient breaks..
every.. 20 mts. and the
lighting of cigarette from the cigarette shop just 2 minutes from the
stadium main gate, Since flammable Items not allowed in the stadium.
Down with those damn

The only thing between him and the post are the 2 rouge defenders. Nikhil and Mallu.
Nikhil is hitting on a girl in the audience. Using sign language.
Mallu is on the feild with 2 phones. One for sms's and the other for calling long distance.

Back to Gamu..

Gamu can see the goal
post manned by Macha. Now macha is the veteran of many matches. Hes won
many gold medals for his heroics on and off the Field. His latest claim
to fame is winning the man of match award before the match.
incidentally he fractures his hand in that game.

Back to Gamu

 He's about to score the winning goal. He takes
some time to adjust fr the wind. He takes 2 practice swings at the
ball. In the middle of the Stadium.

The crowd goes wild.
People cheering Gamuuuu.. Gamuuuuuuu......

the meantime the latest acquisition from the Argentinian G side
Gonzalves realises how close Gamu is to the Goal post. He knows Macha
is injured.. he cant save a goal on his left.
its do or die

In the meantime..

 Errol sitting  high up  in his  Blimp takes a break from peeing and
spitting on the crowd. And realises i should get back to commentary. He
kick s Raj who was dancing to the Ki(A)NK sound track. And they both
get back to

Back to Gamu who's still trying to aim for the post

Gonzalves is running.

Gamu.. is tossed up into the air.

ball vanishes. The stadium disappears. The audience changes into 3
Mustafa ,Nikhil and a very sleepy Mallu.. Gamu lands on his ass.. A
minor tsunami is triggered. People in Indonesia get their feet wet.

Stop day dreaming Gamu.. U cant kick that high..

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Pillow fight.

Ka Boom...

People tried in vain to ignore the continous chatter of machine guns. As if trying to explain some thing very diffcult the guns went on. It seemed in the distance always.. the War. Now it sounds like its close. Infact it seemed to coming from Ramu's shop. Which is 10 mins away. I could go and check but i dont want to be proven right.

Hope we win. And get it over with.

Ka Boom...

Why are supplies always limited. We  are running out of supplies. They cant find out we are short  on bullets.

Hope we win..

Ka Boom...

Two soldiers in a ditch.. with Two Grenades and 8 Bullets between them.

Manqet."Its yo and me against the world"

Siel ."When do we attack. And dont worry we already won."


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Monday, August 14, 2006

Damn you Birds

I found my self defending the birds some time back. Not literally but who in their right mind calls all of  bird kind stupid. Nobody bad mouths a bird. Its a cool animal. Its highly evolved. Its mostly pretty. And It decided long ago that there is too much competition on the ground lets take to the sky.

You know a guy has gone crazy if he proclaims he hates birds and how they are pointless. What ever happend to "Free As a Bird". At that brief moment he looked like a Neanderthal. With the arms flailing over his head about to strike. Makes you wonder if we have really evolved when a statement as harmless as "I love birds" could warant an action so extreme. I could count the number of veins on his fore head.

I hope it was an attention grabbing gimmick. Other wise I am reminded of this News paper headline in the Simpsons which read "Local man shouts at cloud" with Abe Simpsons picture .

So basicly if you over hear some one say "I hate birds" look around make a note of the face and make a run for it. I was lucky to get out alive.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Red ants

Talking to people can be either a very pleasurable experience or mostly a very annoying one. And if you know a person long enough he will start repeating the stories. With the same enthusiasm!!! I am not saying I am a person who doesn’t follow this rule. This is a thumb rule of knowing people. People will repeat stories and there is nothing you can do about it.

Now zoom out a bit think of a wedding where we are being nice to people (because it’s a weeding). In this wedding people have a different problem they will talk about the most non interesting thing and you begin to wonder what kind of craziness occupies the mind of people. I have lost hope in humanity. Imagine u have only 10 minutes of probably your entire life to spend with this one person, just a normal person who will probably never cross your path ever again, and you talk about the crazy world of stomach related problems. How does this person get about in his daily routine? What happened to his social skills?

I have a firm belief that the world is going to blow its self up because of poor interpersonal skills.

A Wedding in itself is a very crazy place to be in now compound that by the fact that its an Indian wedding. Now hold your breath we are in a Gujarati wedding. The weddings of the people of the Indian State of Gujarat speaking a peculiar language called Gujarati is a delight.

Here’s how you know if you are in a Gujarati wedding, just look around and see if you spot a lot of over weight men wearing gold chains with the top button of their shirts open. Still not sure look at the women are they wearing a lot of florescent pink and florescent red and florescent blue. If you are still not sure look for the rhythmic dance in a circle where people will pretend to have sticks in their hands bang them against his fellow dancers make believe sticks.

I respect the people of Gujarat for their ability to burst into the Garba (folk dance) at the drop of a hat. The dance usually involves all members of the family dancing with a lot of enthusiasm. They probably don’t know what it looks like (that’s my theory). Well at least the food is good. ohh wait. All food items are sweet.

Now lets put it all together Talking to a Gujarati about his bowel movements in a wedding which severs only sweets. A place where one needs to wear shades to protect your eyes from all the florescent red, blues and pinks. And yes the rhythmic dances.


Thursday, February 16, 2006


The mindless new sounds leaped out of the composer’s brain to jump into reality. They appeared out of nothing. The composer didn’t know he was doing this. He slept. His notes just leapt out while he slept.

The composer could understand why he wasn’t able to blend it all together. He slept after working for 36 hrs straight. He couldn’t crack it. His notes knew what the problem was. The guitar and the drum kit had a fight in the morning about the importance of beat verses the lead. They refused to work together.

The drums met the guitars in the middle of the imaginary dance floor where they had their dance down. The dancing began as the wind instruments looked on. The calculated steps of the drums were eating into the lead of the smooth gliding of the guitar.

The composer woke up as if from a very noisy dream.

The wind instruments reminded the warring tribes about the Union Regulations. They grudgingly got back to work and fixed the tune.

A compromise was reached just when the composer decided to commit suicide at his inability to create a tune in a week. He set up the chair and fan arrangement. It happened right there as he climbed the chair. A rush of energy as the music jumped into his consciousness.

He knew how to make the music work by them itself.

Another Addition to the long list of substandard music.

Room With a View

The pipe sprang up.. leaping a a good 20 feet before being noticed at the impossible it was doing. The pipe had enough waiting around. It wanted to jump. People around the pipe just freaked out. They thought of ghost demonic possession. The pipe wanted to play snake.. So it hissed around a bit.
Nobody knew what was happening. There was pandemonium.. People screaming .. Little girls crying.. News papers tossed into the air.. looting etc..
The pipe was havin fun. It crawled up the wall. And jumped out of the window. IT jumped into the wild..The wild had little to offer except the bushes.. To hide. He started burrowing. He borrowed for hours for days and it just seemed right to burrow. He didn't even know if he was going done anymore.. He didnt caer.. he just kept burrowing. He finaly hit a glass wall.. he saw many people inside.. and strangely many pipes.
He saw them but dint know how to get in.. He waved he banged but nothing..The world inside didnt look very diff.. he saw spinning discs in the air.. for no reason. beings inside sat on park benches and read the news paper. the sky was green. The grass was yellow.. This was magic land.. Magic had become the norm hence became boring.

Every one knew why things were happening nothing mystical.

The pipe got bored and left back to the surface.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Long long long long long time ago

Long long time ago.. Just after the 2nd ice age.. When the earth was young and people were fools. There was a traveler who besides traveling loved to brag. The traveler for the sake of this story shall be named Mukesh (or what ever you would like to call him). Now Mukesh traveled because he dint want to hunt he was afraid of being called a fool. He had bad aim. All the people in his cave made fun of him. So he decided to travel and lived on hand outs or steal outs or do some naughty favors for me food.

He wasn’t a very good traveler he managed to visit the same village 3 times in a month. He had such bad aim he couldn’t even walk in a straight line. We believe Mukesh is the reason for the creation of the no Mukesh sign which eventually led to the making of our no smoking signs. This is also the first known attempt by man towards language.

Mukesh was confused he didn’t know what was happening. HE decided to do some thing about his bad aim. It struck him he’s being going in a circle clockwise. He decided to aim for the one in the middle and there u have the origin of the "aim for the one in the middle". At the onset of winter like early humans he decided to die or participate in a mass slumber party at Jignesh's cave. It's nearly impossible to go to a winter slumber party with out knowing some one in the govt. He tried to call on his father and mother who were close to the village priest.

Mukesh's parents saw him approaching the cave from a distance. They quickly ran inside blew out the torch. And also hung the "no Mukesh” sign and a new sign which said "quarantine" hence the invention of the word quarantine. Coincidently this was the longest word of that age. Nobody knew what it meant till 1742.
Mukesh approached the boulder of the cave and knocked on it. Then he noticed the signs. He didn’t know what quarantine meant but he was sure it was some thing really bad. And sooner or later people will think up a meaning for it.

Mukesh was drawing a long face. This was also the first known attempt at graffiti. The priest caught him doing this and hence he was also the first person in history to be taken to a jail for vandalism.

At least there will be blankets in jail..

The adventures of Mukesh will continue..

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Like a lot of relatives every where. My relatives suck a lot. I really wonder how so many awful ,ignorant, ridiculous, political, non creative, pointless people could be related to me. How is it that by a freak chance of nature I have this absolutely varied bunch of people that I hate.

It must have some thing to do with my Grand parents and faulty genes.. I blame them.

When ever there is a family get together it is all family pissing match. Lets see who talks the most.. Lets see who knows the most. I think I share that with my family. That's the only thing I hope. There are moments when I completely zone out ..I much rather have a conversation with my self then with some of the people here. Having a conversation with ones self just goes to show the boredom that you are enduring. In your own rebellious way you are telling all the creation of the universe you don't interest me, I am talking to my self. Or I am on the verge of madness damn you uninteresting people. I was completely alive when I was traveling ,I was out of my comfort zone and talking to random people. Random people are the most fun you dont expect the grand unified theory from them just a simple time pass till end of the road. The road that took me from Jagdish Mandir through the market to the back side of the lake was probably the most interesting road I ever took, it meandered through little known bylanes with old houses and kids who wanted to have their picture taken. The picture of the Tajmahal doesn't do justice to the size of the monument its a huge monolith with millions of tourists trying to gauge the enormous purse of the Mughal emperor. Emperor ShahJahan had a 100 wives yet he chose to build a huge monolith for just one of his wives. The wives of a certain emperor in central India had to take a mass bath in a house made of glass so that the emperor could chose who he wanted to sleep with on that day.

I hate emperors...

i have decided to pin the blame of life on certain people in each entry. Today its the Emperors tomo... the world..

Thursday, January 05, 2006


Joules opened his eyes for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. In the brief moment before his eyes opened he hoped his beard to grow atleast. Checking his watch he sighed...10 mins.. I cant do this he told him self. These flies these mosquito's this noisy ambulance. How am I ever going to be a Sage. Where will I get my mystic powers from. He unanimously decided to call them sour grapes. There is no such thing as a Sage. There is no greater being. There cant be more to life. Then suddenly in a stroke of genius..He cracked it.

You want food you work for it.

That was the mantra.

He laughed at the sages for spending days and months meditating at a very simple answer. Joules knew he was on to some thing. There was almost a halo around his head. It was like energy flowing into him. This is it.. That's all.. Just a halo.. Enlightenment is over rated. He decided that grapes are sours he relaxed on his Bean bag. Took a sip of the iced tea sitting in front of him.

His mantra just didn't have the ring. Joules picks up the TV guide and looks for some thing to watch.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Dr livingstone I presume

Fighting his way through an intimidating jungle. Camping in the cold coal black night. Swimming against the current through a crocodile infested river. Climbing a vertical cliff with no support and in strong cross wind. Martin flips open his back pack to look for his cigarettes. Lights one. Sits on top of a 300 foot cliff with his feet dangling down. He thought its all going to be worth it. He looks at the most brilliant sunset over an untouched patch of rainforest. The sun seemed to gently come down to sleep like a deflated hot air balloon. As tired as he was he still had to put up his tent.

He slept..

Got up packed and started moving. He had his mind set. HE needed to reach the spring as soon as possible. He had no time to rest. after thrashing through another part of the jungle he saw a pack of ferocious baboons. He tried hard to avoid being detected as the baboons guard their territory fiercely. He had to run for it eventually.

He knew he was close by he saw the skull markings on the side the elephant grave yard , the old tree which looked like a giraffe and the sign read 100 mts to the spring. He started sprinting his journey was coming to an end. Elated ecstatic and mad are 3 words to be used to describe him now. His long year long travel came to an end.

He reached the spring. It looked nothing like the one he envisioned. It wasn’t grand at all. The old fool lied to him. He decided that he hates old men from bars that tell you a magnificent story about magical things and hand you a map. He hated him self.

All he was thinking was a year long journey back.
Past the ferocious baboons.. Down the vertical cliff.. Swimming through crocodile infested wa...

Martin stood there cursing the cloud..

Monday, November 14, 2005


As we waltz through the mirage that the great Orwellian world has generated for us. Its a lose lose situation. What do we believe in???

Its a mirage at the end of it. Walls of reality based on the foundation of a mirage will crumble like a building marked by the demolition squad. But we love to build walls and a roof only to see it crumble and start all over again. Why ? We love to gamble. The evolutionary process on this planet loves gambles. That's the what the essence of this planet is. Its in our genes. If the amoebae was content I wouldn't be writing this now. Lets get them out off the water it said. Lets put them on trees it said. Lets get them down it said. Opposable thumb..

We are designed not to be content. Its in our genes to want more. The current commercialism is a direct offshoot of our evolution. It all started because of extreme weather or seasons if you may. No food through out the year only during 4 months lets get all we can and save for the later months. New ipod launched lets buy it right now before its out off stock. I see a connection.

Gullible we are.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


What if you could shoot a bullet right through the fabric of space and time. What if you could ride that bullet. Since you have ruptured the fabric of space and time will you ever reach the other side. Or you will just punch into the production house. With people carrying the lights and props. And what these fortune tellers actually do is read into the mind of the director.

All these ideas don't really change any thing for either you or me.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Count of Regent Hall

Trumpets raised. The Count passed through the little town. It is a cheerful Monday morning not later than 10.36 am. Spring is just round the corner.

People just stared on.

He is feared more than the King here. He walked proud with his swordstick. He felt divine. He knew he owned these people if not by love then by fear. He walked from his little mansion to the little pastry shop down the hill. That little pastry shop refused to pay Tax. Nobody ever refused to pay tax here. He was amused at best. His doctor advised him to walk a little every day. What better occasion to start then to collect money. Walking on the stone studded street was new to him. He never walks. Any one can see that.

Well...He reached the pastry shop. The little girl there didn't recognize him. She asked him what he wanted. He shoved her and picked up the Raspberry turnover. He took a bite into a Raspberry Turnover. The taste exploded in his mouth. This is the best he ever had. A dirty little pastry shop in his own little village that is refusing to pay tax. He couldn't understand. He stood there smiling to him self. He didn't know if he should be angry for the refusal of the tax or happy at finding such a great baker.

He was trying to focus his anger but he couldn't. This was heavenly it was as if he was in a Raspberry Turnover haven. He didn't care about any one or any thing. All he wanted to be was a Raspberry Turnover. He did not know pastry this good. After paying for the Raspberry Turnover he left.

Annoyed with himself for doing this he ordered his guards to beat a drunk on the side of the road.

Monday, October 24, 2005


A Man walks into a bar looking suspicious. He didnt turn his head and observed people from the corner of his eye. He was wearing a Hat a trench coat and was carrying one of those walkig sticks with a built in sword.

"I have a Package for Mr Smith", Said the guy in the trench coat.
"Who's it from ?", Asked Smith
"Its for me to Know and you to find out", Said the guy in a Trench coat on a hot summer day.

You see the ridiculousness of the above conversation. If you know, why make the guy guess. I don't see it. I just hate it when people tell me that there is some thing important to say, but not right now. Why tell me in the first place. We are not working for CIA. Nothing you tell me will lead to either one of us living in Bangladesh as shipbreakers. Don't sound important. I have other things to worry about.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


I pictured a man painting. The man was bored. He's here every day and today he is bored. People love to see him paint. He didn't feel like putting on a show for the crowd today. He just sat there looking through the canvas. He didn't know what to do. He just sat, looking intelligent. Pondering over what to paint.

He didn't take very long. He threw some paint across the canvas. And he stood up and did the same. And he waited for the paint to dry and break. He topped it up by blowing some paint across the canvas.

He did it again. It looked godly. I loved it instantaneously. He wasn't very satisfied. But he liked it. He gave me the painting and said "Its been a lazy day, keep it".

He packed his bag and pushed on to another place. I looked on as he walked away.

I loved the night sky today.....

Friday, October 14, 2005


I hate waiting. Waiting makes me feel unimportant. Time seems to crawl. I wonder why I am doing what I am doing. The universe and its creation is pondered upon needlessly.

It is very dark. Staying in the dark I adapted to this. This is my cover. The Dark is my cover. This does not mean I like the dark. Its the only cover I can afford. So I just wait. I have to kill to live. I hate killing. There is no escaping the hunger. I haven't eaten in days now. My last hit was unsuccesfull. I need this to work.

They aren't many hits these days. That's why its difficult to wait I don't know for how long. There has to be an easier way. I cant do this forever. I am getting too old for this game. I don't have patience I am so hungry. Life was ment to be different. I didn't want to be waiting here.

Ohh !! My wait could be over. Is he coming here? Looks well off. Looks well fed also.

I sprang him as he was passing by. With one swift blow I had him. This was too easy.

And so the Lizard Had his dinner

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Imagine an illuminated helicopter blade in a dark room. Now imagine it about 15 cms. Now imagine it spinning vertically. Now imagine that you are a camera at a very low shutter speed taking a picture of this. Now imagine the helicopter blade slowly turning clock wise in front of you. Now imagine it changing colour into any colour you like. Now imagine the disc splitting into two while spinning. Imagine them standing next to each other like twins. Now imagine them in a mutual spin around each other slowly. Now imagine them speeding up. Now imagine because of the mutual spinning they merge to form a ring. Now imagine this glowing ring is the rim of a long cylinder. Now imagine that the cylinder has a lot of parallel lines inside it. Now imagine traveling through the cylinder at a very high speed. Now imagine you punch through a gooey elastic translucent wall.

Now imagine Where you came out.

Monday, October 10, 2005

A traveling Village

I sat in a car listening to music on a hill top with my friends. We really loved what we were doing . Nobody talking,just listening to music with the windows rolled up coz it was too cold out side. We could see the entire city out in front of us.

At 3 Am the city looks really nice.

It took us about 2 hours to get to this place. And it was worth it. The city was laid out in front of us like Bart and Lisa's home town from Mt Springfeild. A city well lit up. A strangely symmetrical city. Not common here. And I looked up there were more lights. Its was like being sandwiched between two cities. It was beautiful.

To the right of us was a an old Mandir with a lit bulb on top of it. The mandir just seemed to grow around a tree. A gigantic eerie tree. A tree for the horror movies. And behind us was a vast empty nothing. Empty nothing because we couldnt see any thing. God just didn't build any thing there. We sitting on the edge of the world. We loved what we saw. We felt special.

that's why I love the night it leaves a lot to your imagination. I can say what I want about that place coz that's how I remember it. Hence that's how it is. We sat there in the cold of the night in our car wrapped in blankets listening to music. I love what music does. It set the mood right for this memory. The music made the night perfect.

The stars were bright and seemed to pulse with the music and so did the city. I felt like the part of a team sitting out side the play ground. Ready to be sent in any time. It was a perfect setting for an extraodinary night.

Just then... 2 truck full of people stopped right behind us. These trucks were carrying an entire village. I wish I had my camera. It was one hell of a sight. Until that time we had forgotten the entire existence of any other person. We had an entire village with us. They were lost. Wanted directions. It seemed to us that they were sent out to start a new village. They had every thing they needed in the truck with them. Hanging inside the truck was an old lamp running on kerosene.

It was a sight

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Ways of getting free food

Is it a problem if your entire life doest flash before your eyes when you are electrocuted or is it that your brain is too fried to remember anything . Isit that you dont have any thing worth while to recall in that moment before you almost died.
As a kid i always wanted to be electricuted coz i thoght i could gain superhuman abilities. And there is no mention of the pain. The pain is tremendous its like passing a steel wire though you body and then heating the steel wire up and straightein it at the same time.

Damn you lying cartoons

The cartoons have been lying to us fr years now. My hair did not stand up and i didnt suddently have sooth all over my face. Just a ringing in my ear and blurred vision and no special powers.
This sucks at least i should have some special powers now

Friday, September 16, 2005

Fever dog

As time ceases to move at its usual pace. You realize that time moves really slowly if you are not enjoying yourself. You would want time to chug along really fast if you are having a headache,but no. Time will act like little kid dragging its feet on the way to the school. I hate the relativity of time. You cant count on it move a certain way. Its all relative to the way you are feeling.

If only you could speed up time to make all the boring times move faster.. Like the time when your friends online say "hmmmmm".. Like the awkward time you have when there is no conversation left.. Speed them up.

But time moves like an elephant. If one sees an elephant leisurely strolling around you cannot guess that this giant beast will ever move faster than that. But i advise you not to mock this lumbering giant. Its speed will catch you off guard and also elephants never forget. Elephants also dont take jokes too well. Especially jokes on their mother being fat.
Please dont mock elephants..

Thursday, August 11, 2005


If the ear rings like a sharp whistle all the time quiet is not appreciated . Some sort of background noise is required. I love you mp3 player. I felt this noise at a very young age and have been irritated since. Surely something around is causing it I thought . Its like taking a knife a real military looking knife (pls refer rambo or commando) and cutting a circuit board which has a plastic cover on it . Its like a cut through its circuits that the computer cant do nothing about. Its like a cut through some time space fabric that every one keeps talking about. OR like a dog whistle that's barely audible but I can imagine how powerful the it must be for the dog.

Poor Dogs..

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Short Hair

Well shorT hair is environment friendly.. Less time spent hair drying it... (1) Electricity saved. Less coal burnt. Cleaner air. Less C02 emissions. No global warming. No El-Nino Phenomenon. Crops saved because no draught. No hungry. No eratic rains so no Flash floods so no people dying. Also no global rise in sea level. So the low lying islands saved. So lives saved again.
Also since people have short hair.....

Smaller towels made through out the world. Less fabric used. So machines work for less time. They use less electricty. So we are back to point 1.
Less shampoo less water. Cleaner water. No dead fish. No water purification plants required.

So as we see in the above argument. Short hair saves lives.

But long hair Rocks

Friday, June 24, 2005

This is by far the most brilliant Painting i have ever seen.To me this Painting signifies Triumph..Caspar David. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Riding The Motorcycle In The Rain

The occasional Ride in the rain is so amazing ...
Rain piercing your skin even at 40 kmph ..
Completely drenched ..
All fun..
Except if you have to do it every day you'll hate the rain then..

Friday, June 17, 2005

The bestest strategy game of all time

I always thought life in the olden days was well like this..

Every book started with "It was the best of times it was the worst of times..". And when men were real men. Women were real women .When the king was god. When we were all delivered by stocks . When we fought over frivolous things. And nobody lived long enough to realize the mistakes.

Well all that changed for me when I started playing this computer game called CIVILIZATION. Its basically a history lesson. A much more animated version with battle. Where u get to rewrite history. I have been playing this game since the past 10 years. It still rocks. It has thought me one valuable lesson.. No matter how bad the situation one can always cheat.

I used to play this game on my superfast 286 with 16mhz speed. You cant really call it speed lets call it slow. I had my own hard disk and my brother had his own hard disk. My hard disk size was 20 mb.. Yes 20 mb... Now that I look back on it.. We didn't do any thing interesting on my computer.Play games which came in 11 floppy disks not the one we are currently using..But the 5 1/4th inch ones.. Large floppy disks. Every one knew large intricate DOS commands. RAM size was 612kb. I loved DOS .. My computer never crashed.. It didnt do any thing usefull either Except Basic (programing). And my computer never crashed. I had just one virus in my cvomputer which never went away.It was the dreaded Midnight virus which would crash ur computer at 12 midnight.. thats it.. My monitor wasnt too bright it displayed only 16 colors.

Such was life simple yet beautifull...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Usefull Links For Adsense.. AKA Keywords With Lot of Money

I found myself looking for some people to explain to me how Adsense works and whats the most expensive word as per click. It turns out it is mesothelioma.. What the hell is mesothelioma. Sure i can look it up but.. What ever it is it costs a lot of money. In my search for some website helping me out with this without charging me any money i came up with a few links. Hope it helps..

List of helpfull sites to rake in more money in no particular order

Pls feel free to tell me what you have discovered..

Monday, June 13, 2005

Rain ...

No matter how well the teacher explains it .. I still feel its magical. The rains mean different things to diffrent societies.. In some of the northern countries its just too cold to enjoy the rain and it bring upon a feeling of "damn its raining". In countries where its warmer rain is usually the best time of the year.
Sure we have lousy roads ,stuck in traffic for hours,trains not working, but i must say when i meet people stuck in the rain they arnt always sore.They know nothing can be done so they are nice..


Now cable is a blessing for the couch potato. There is no reason y any one would need 200 channels. Imagine this You give yourself 10 secs per channel on an average and then you come back to the same chanel after 2000 secs thats 33 mins.. A new program has started of which you know nothing of, or may be its The National Geographic. And they are showing you an hour special on kangroos mating. Its a loose loose situation any ways. You will never get to watch any thing. I guess the only ppl at loss after the invention of cable are the advertising people ie nobody watching their ads. At the end of it u end up skipping more channels to avoid the ads and for get what channel u were on.
They should have a reward system in place You watch ads You get free cable.I wonder if it already exists. So if i want free cable i will be battred by the buy this campaign. And if i pay for the channel i dont see y i should be seein advertising. Its like you are paying for the advertising. Which in turn makes your products cost more coz they r advertising they include it in the cost of the product. So you my friend are paying to make your products expensive.

Monday, June 06, 2005

What If the Matrix IS True

I keep wondering about this. Movies these days are like what religion was in the older days. People tend to belive you when you tell them some thing very exciting like.. i dont know.. you are plugged into a to a computer...that guy there with long hair is son of god.. any thing amazing goes.. i guess its more difficult to start a relious from scrach these daqys coz of advent of the visual media. Or may be all a relious head has to do is make a movie.. saying and showing things he belives in and shows uwhat u stand to gain. May be a 100 years later the new religon is the matrix.
WE are truely in a very weird time...

Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Music is quite a instrument for projecting an idea... Since the first cave man Struck his fellow man and thought it made a cool sound... We have taken a liking to the beat.. donno what it is..Makes u wanna listen to the hidden meaning to the music.. some people even play it in reverse.. to see if it says some thing..and some times surprisingly it does..
back ground music sets the tone for a party no mater where the place... It starts conversations..It destroys converstions starts wars for opposing music People..Like followers of Abba(puke) and Followers of Led Zepp.. You cant like both..its the cosmic law..The universe will seize to exist if a person like this exists... So for My sake please dont tell any one abt this rare disorder of yours. You will be responsible for the anialation of the universe.. As a honest unbiased opinion.. Abba Sucks..

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Well.. Lifes all abt finding the right people to chill with to Hang out while you are doing your thing. You may end up finding the right ppl.. The funny,witty,intelligent and best of all they like u.
Now these idiots just Go off to a far away country where you are not sure when you will see them again.
You have to start the process all over again... We frnds should be able to make them sign a pact stating that they never leave..Whats the point in making frnds if they leave.. All the effort you put in them all goes to waste..
We Friends should have a legal right to stop these ppl from leaving.. Take them to court i say for all their worth.
But then they are friends.... what am i thinking

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Near Death Experience

Beware the Bad Driver cometh... (jaws Music playing )

Sitting with a bad driver makes you appreciate life a lot on many levels..So I guess it was Sunday driving I had 2 near bad accidents.. I am not sitting in a vehicle which carries less than 25 ppl on a Sunday.. Or any thing which needs balancing..So basically The most lethal combination is Sunday,beer,big car,and woman driver or Sunday,vehicle requiring balancing, distracted driver and no rear view mirror.

I swear god I appreciate life...No more near death experiences.... I love every thing now..Even the Jews...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

How Do You Deal With A Situation

Do you attack it head on do watch it from the side or do you just hang around in the bomb shealter waiting for it to go away...mystery of life i guess..

Monday, March 14, 2005

Echoes and Shadows

Have You ever wondered about Echoes and Shadows. Its the most brilliant example of how mysterious our world really is. Every one knows how shadows work its just brilliant how they play around with you. If you are ever driving down an empty highway and you are not the driver pls do check the road for these little nothings on the road that never fail to amaze..

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I Wish I Couuld Just Be

Why I cant just be..I want to be here and not move. I mean In this space and time. Just frozen. Thats one luxury that i guess no one has!!!!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Getting out of the Rhythm

Lifes all abt getting into the rhythm getting into a cycle, getting into the a groove so to speak.. WRONG .. it couldnt be far from the truth.. y would u want to catch the 7:53 am train every day.. the answer could be that it is less crowded than the 7:58 train but if thats the only reason there is a problem with the way that we think . Its so deep rooted that we dont know it. the way god designed life there is nothing predictable abt it.. The problem arises when u r supposed to wake up and be some where at a paricular time every day or they cut ur salary, dont get a promotion, stand out side class, get humiliated or may be even get fired. we are constatly fighting time.. we need 36 hrs in a day... its only when i resigned that i realised the monotony of life, the one that every one wants us to have . one becomes so closed not open to new ideas . i can see like hundreds of ppl who havnt gone out of the city in years... they may have wanted to go out initialy but now its the groove the rhythm that just tells u "but its nice here all familiar"

I dont know may be the rhythm is a good thing but i wonder...

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

ppl should take a hint

Why is it so hard for ppl to take a hint.. it is quite obvious..and i make it quite obvious.There should be thse classes which tech you how to take a hint or may be these books "HOW TO TAKE A HINT AND NOT BUG PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU SUCK". I think the world will be a much happier place with medows and green grass and birds chirping all the time if people left people alone. JUST LET BE

Friday, December 17, 2004

mp3 players

As most of already know is the coolest thing invented by mankind after the wheel and the spear. Music for every mood thats what they are selling effectively. Now for every situation u have a background music. Thats so cool.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Out doors whats all this hype

I constantly hear ppl wanting to go to the great out doors.. i just cant understand why ppl would risk every thing to go out into the jungle..If the jungle was such a nice and convinient place then we would be still living there..MOSQUITO factor is 1 reason y 1 dont want to go to jungle.. there are these creatures which will suck your blood if u enter their domain. its like a sign frm god.. tell me what happens when a kid touches fire he doesnt touch it again its like we have unlearned all the things and started afresh..god doesnt hate u for going to the jungle he doesnt want to kill u just a soft warning .. we are such idiots (u guys who wnat to go to the out doors).

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Quit work!!!

I guess its about time u quit work when u walk around with an invisible force field and refuse to let anyone close to u.. Also u abuse every 1 as soon as they pass by..Also u constantly wish u were luke sky walker..Or The no.. Of ppl u dont like can only be fit on the back of a truck vs the ppl u like.. who can be counted on the first 2 fingers of ur left hand... quit work my friend

waking up with a head ache

If u sleep late enough u will wake up tired and with a headache .. wonder how that works..sleeping is supposed to be all sothing and relaxing and all.. and then no matter how many cups of teas u had or how cold the water was when u took that bath u still have a wet blanket on ur head...and as soon as u wake up ppl try to have a conversation with u .. give me space... tis is sounding more and more my online crib space...
zaphod out

Monday, December 13, 2004

if only i had a sword.. and was old.. and white ..knew karate etc Posted by Hello

logical thinking

y is it that logical thinking seems so difficult..rational thinking at best seems to evade every 1.. every 1 of us has a moment when we are bogged down with work our brain doesnt work and u have blonde moment. It seems to happen a lot with a lotta ppl...

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